Break my heart for what breaks Yours.
The evidence of the absence of God can be seen all around us.
You see, God is love. He is love and He is light and He is encouragement and He is comfort. When those things are taken away, all we have left is hatred. Just hatred and darkness.
I've never heard about the Holocaust from the viewpoint of a Jewish survivor and so the story of the murder of thousands of Jews has never felt very personal. Hearing about it last Wednesday brought tears to my eyes though. Honestly, what was the rest of the world doing while such hatred was brewing up? We ARE our brother's keeper; we ARE meant to keep each other in check. And I think our world needs to open its eyes because grievances of similar or greater magnitude are slipping their ways past the corners of our minds.
One way, Jesus, You're the only one that I could live for.
While we're tiptoeing around the subject of racism, let me propose a new horror: culturism. That's right, it's not all about your race these days. It's about which culture you were brought up in, which culture you feel most comfortable with, and which culture you have adopted as your own. And this is a GOOD thing; I dream of a world in which 100% of the world's inhabitants have claimed a culture that doesn't match the color of their skin. But unless we (collectively) begin to embrace those cultural differences, my dream will not come true.
(You don't have to be non-white to experience racism. Ask me about it some time.)
Here am I. Send me.
I will go.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Mirror, Mirror
Ten million years ago, I was THE awkward kid.
And by awkward, I mean the whole shabang: braces, stringy (slightly dirt-colored) hair, chubbiness, horrible sense of fashion. I was also just becoming aware of the fact that I was not, indeed, like everyone else. See, I'm the kind of person who does not do too well in social situations. Adding to the awkwardness was my pre-teenage, rapidly developing body and a group of people who publicly thought my way of walking was socially unacceptable.
Needless to say, middle school was my unhappy time.
...and so was the year or two that followed.
Honestly, I blame it on my surroundings. Once I moved to a place where most people actually didn't know my name, the puppy fat quickly fell off and I even learned a few things about how to make friends. But it wasn't until I got away from my hometown and learned how to find God in a new way, in a new location, that I really started seeing myself as God-loved, instead of God-forsaken.
It took awhile, but I finally began to look in the mirror again. And really, I had to start looking at God (and at his creation and at his beauty and at his glory) first.
Who am I to consider myself, created with love by God, a thing of ugliness?
It really isn't about loving yourself enough. It's about trusting that God knew what he was doing when he made you. That's what you have to remember when you're comparing yourself to the rest of the beautiful girl population on campus. That's what you have to push into your mind when you're wondering if that outfit could look any worse on your body. That's what you have to think about when you're looking into the mirror.
God made you special, and he loves you very much.
And by awkward, I mean the whole shabang: braces, stringy (slightly dirt-colored) hair, chubbiness, horrible sense of fashion. I was also just becoming aware of the fact that I was not, indeed, like everyone else. See, I'm the kind of person who does not do too well in social situations. Adding to the awkwardness was my pre-teenage, rapidly developing body and a group of people who publicly thought my way of walking was socially unacceptable.
Needless to say, middle school was my unhappy time.
...and so was the year or two that followed.
Honestly, I blame it on my surroundings. Once I moved to a place where most people actually didn't know my name, the puppy fat quickly fell off and I even learned a few things about how to make friends. But it wasn't until I got away from my hometown and learned how to find God in a new way, in a new location, that I really started seeing myself as God-loved, instead of God-forsaken.
It took awhile, but I finally began to look in the mirror again. And really, I had to start looking at God (and at his creation and at his beauty and at his glory) first.
Who am I to consider myself, created with love by God, a thing of ugliness?
It really isn't about loving yourself enough. It's about trusting that God knew what he was doing when he made you. That's what you have to remember when you're comparing yourself to the rest of the beautiful girl population on campus. That's what you have to push into your mind when you're wondering if that outfit could look any worse on your body. That's what you have to think about when you're looking into the mirror.
God made you special, and he loves you very much.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Sometimes I think I'm an underachiever; I don't realize the things that I really want until they either a) smack me right in the face or b) are comfortably handed over to me. Maybe this is a better argument for laziness on my part. But either way, here are at least three things that I would possibly like to accomplish during my years at APU. Also included are how my strengths will help me to achieve them.
1) Figure Out Who The Heck I Am
I mentioned this before; this is the whole reason why I came to college: to be influenced and stretched into the kind of person I am meant to be. On some days when I wake up a few minutes before my alarm clock sings to me, I feel like a mirror image of myself. I want to color in the lines that make up my heart and mind and finally be a technicolor version of me. I think that all of my thinking strengths will help me to evaluate every single possibility (maybe even prolonging the process) of who I could be. And my empathy will help me to look at others and at who they are. This will force me to see the good and bad of their characters and I can pick and choose the characteristics that I find most enviable and work them into my life.
2) Learn As Much As I Can
Aha. Another reason why I came to college. As my input strength describes, I am curious and I love learning new things (but generally only in areas I'm interested in... lame, I know). I want to fill my brain with as much information as possible about the world and about people and about writing and about the way things work. (I also want to get published. I want my thoughts to be read and spread and publicly acknowledged.)
3) Expand My Concept Of The World As A Whole
Included in this section are my desires to study abroad, to get involved in missions, and to network. I don't know what I mean by that last word, but I guess my dad says it a lot and it sounds good. Ha, just kidding. But I don't really know what I mean, except that it's something I really want to do. And guess what, my connectedness strength directly ties in with this goal. Funny how that works out.
4) Find A Husband
Ummmmmm, kidding. Actually, I just want to make strong and lasting friendships.
4 for real) Make Strong And Lasting Friendships
I've heard from too many people that their best friends are the friends they met during their college years and I want to make this true for me. I think connectedness will just help me to "connect" the people around me and to draw them together. In love. And happiness. Peace.
5) Become Tight With God
I heard a sermon once about what it takes to become "tight" with God. The speaker mentioned discipline and how important it is to keep yourself in check and to keep your relationship with God growing daily. I want to be so disciplined in my walk with God that it becomes even more natural than breathing. I want to have a better grasp on what He wants for my life. I want to use my strengths for His glory. I want His love to shine out of all areas of my life and I want people to notice the difference.
Fin.
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