After one (happy, crazy, growthful, changing, difficult, spectacular, lovely, joyful, lonely) semester of college, I have come to understand these things:
1) Mostly, you relate to the people you knew previous to your first college experience in a completely different way after you've come home. To me, this means that I am officially an adult in the Cline/Scholl crowd; I partake in adult conversations, without fear of giving my own opinion or even telling Kevin to shut up. It also means that stupid high school cliques are no longer in control of my social life. (This is where I insert a five-minute long sigh of relief.)
2) People are hard to live with. It doesn't matter who they are, where they came from, how similar they are to your own personality; people are just hard to live with. And once you can master the "art of losing" all the things that make your life familiar, it is five hundred thousand times easier to live with another person.
3) Pop-tarts and string cheese can be a suitable meal for anytime of the day!
4) It is completely normal to eat by yourself, whether you're in the cafeteria or hiding out in your dorm room.
5) Friends require upkeep. After about six years of having three perfectly synced friends who practically fell into my life, this was the hardest for me to come to terms with. It takes time for faces to become acquaintances, acquaintances to become casual friends, casual friends to become close.
6) Facebook is a SICKNESS.
7) No matter how awkward I feel about the whole "Third Culture Kids of APU Unite!" thing, I have to admit that it does make me feel ten times more comfortable when I realize that a professor is a former MK or a classmate spent most of her life in a different country. It's not because I can't relate to your average American, it's because I can relate better to people who have had similar experiences to mine. And that's true for everyone, whether we're talking about the language you speak, or the kind of school you graduated from, or the place you grew up in. People are naturally drawn to those who are like themselves. And no matter how self-obsessive that might seem, it's good.
8) You are different. I am different. We are all freakin' different, so it's completely futile to go around acting like you're God's gift to society. Get over yourself.
9) 7:15 Walk/Jog classes are never a good idea.
10) Sometimes people suck. (That's why forgiveness is such an intense theme in the Bible.)
11) Tie-dye is way cool in college.
I started this blog entry about a month ago, but I got frustrated with how Blogger changes the language if you're in a different country and since I was in Ecuador (South America, not Africa), everything was in Spanish and it just bothered me. So even though the new semester has already started, pretend it hasn't.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
p.s. it's raining
I met another homeless man today. His name was Ricky and he smiled at me in the most genuine way and said, "Merry Christmas!"
I was so nervous to talk to him. There's something that just makes it hard to look a person in the eye after you've walked past them, trying to forget their presence, a couple of times. Yeah, I walked right past him. And then I felt that tug on my heart again and I turned around and introduced myself.
We ended up talking for maybe 30 seconds. I was so afraid that I would say the wrong thing; I couldn't find any courage to ask him about his story, even though I knew that's what I was supposed to do.
So my prayer today is for courage, courage to do the things that God has pressed on my heart.
In other news, Rheanna's Quest Towards Being As Awkward As Possible is still going strong. I got lost in San Dimas after the "AH! You're running out of gas!" light came on in my car and I raced off the freeway in a panic, frantically searching for a gas station. I then proceeded to completely forget my zip code, which apparently you need to pay for gas with a debit card at certain gas stations.
No worries, though. Ugly Betty is full of gas and safe in the school parking lot. And I am safe in my dormroom, content after a night of music and poetry and bizarre Christmas antics.
The logs on the fire fill me with desire to see you and to say that I wish you Merry Christmas.
I was so nervous to talk to him. There's something that just makes it hard to look a person in the eye after you've walked past them, trying to forget their presence, a couple of times. Yeah, I walked right past him. And then I felt that tug on my heart again and I turned around and introduced myself.
We ended up talking for maybe 30 seconds. I was so afraid that I would say the wrong thing; I couldn't find any courage to ask him about his story, even though I knew that's what I was supposed to do.
So my prayer today is for courage, courage to do the things that God has pressed on my heart.
In other news, Rheanna's Quest Towards Being As Awkward As Possible is still going strong. I got lost in San Dimas after the "AH! You're running out of gas!" light came on in my car and I raced off the freeway in a panic, frantically searching for a gas station. I then proceeded to completely forget my zip code, which apparently you need to pay for gas with a debit card at certain gas stations.
No worries, though. Ugly Betty is full of gas and safe in the school parking lot. And I am safe in my dormroom, content after a night of music and poetry and bizarre Christmas antics.
The logs on the fire fill me with desire to see you and to say that I wish you Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
sleep tight
i'm going on vacation tomorrow.
with some people that i kind of like (aka my second family).
plus best friend number K!
am i excited?
absolutely.
=]
with some people that i kind of like (aka my second family).
plus best friend number K!
am i excited?
absolutely.
=]
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
We'll make the great escape
My high school World Religion and Cults teacher (the infamous Greg Collard) told me once that there is one month in the fall semester that is more difficult than all the others for college freshmen. I don't exactly remember which month he was talking about, probably because I was semi-busy looking out the window and pretending I was a butterfly who could fly to the windows of the Hospital Vozandes and cheer up all the sick people. In my personal experience, though, that one most difficult month has been November.
If I lived in a place other than Southern California where the weather actually turns cold and stays that way, I think that would be justification enough for a despressing November. As much as I love snow and cold and rain, I can't imagine bundling up to face wind every day during the fall and winter. (Today, I'm actually wearing a short dress and my roommate and I still haven't turned off the a/c in our room since school started. This is my blissful life as a Californian, I guess.) On that note, I am extremely thankful that God decided to put me in a place like Azusa, where the only thing that blocks the sun is smog and girls who wear Uggs have to pair them with short shorts to keep themselves from suffocating.
However, the lack of fitful weather makes it necesary for me to find something else to blame the overwhelmingness of this month on.
Could it be all the pressure, the pressure of turning in all my projects when they're due, of making time to study for tests that matter, of writing this blog before my next Beginnings class?
Could it be social tensions? People change in college, whether they're trying to or not, and dealing with that has become a headache of it's own.
Could it be homesickness?
Mmhmm yep. Yep to all of the above.
It just boils down to the fact that I'm living, absolutely LIVING, for my next vacation (which happens to be in exactly seven days!) and for this thought: is it really possible that we are almost halfway through the year already?
And bee tee dub, all the stress is also making me incredibly joyful. Go figure.
If I lived in a place other than Southern California where the weather actually turns cold and stays that way, I think that would be justification enough for a despressing November. As much as I love snow and cold and rain, I can't imagine bundling up to face wind every day during the fall and winter. (Today, I'm actually wearing a short dress and my roommate and I still haven't turned off the a/c in our room since school started. This is my blissful life as a Californian, I guess.) On that note, I am extremely thankful that God decided to put me in a place like Azusa, where the only thing that blocks the sun is smog and girls who wear Uggs have to pair them with short shorts to keep themselves from suffocating.
However, the lack of fitful weather makes it necesary for me to find something else to blame the overwhelmingness of this month on.
Could it be all the pressure, the pressure of turning in all my projects when they're due, of making time to study for tests that matter, of writing this blog before my next Beginnings class?
Could it be social tensions? People change in college, whether they're trying to or not, and dealing with that has become a headache of it's own.
Could it be homesickness?
Mmhmm yep. Yep to all of the above.
It just boils down to the fact that I'm living, absolutely LIVING, for my next vacation (which happens to be in exactly seven days!) and for this thought: is it really possible that we are almost halfway through the year already?
And bee tee dub, all the stress is also making me incredibly joyful. Go figure.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Un sapo, sapo, sapo que nadaba en el rio, rio, rio...
I'm sorry. I can't just write one blog about this.
So for the last thirteen years of my life, I think I was on one long mission trip. For example, every Wednesday last year, I would go to the city dump with a group from my school and we would help out in the daycare for kids whose parents live among the trash. A few years before that, we went to a children's hospital every week and basically evangelized and did goofy stuff to make the kids happy. I've helped to translate for different groups from the U.S. who came down to Ecuador to go on a mission trip (although the emphasis on those trips was always on something other than God... oops). I went to a school for missionary kids; we even had an Evangelism Explosion class to teach us how to talk about Jesus.
Because of all that, it's really hard for me to be in a place where a mission trip isn't waiting to happen right outside my window.
It will be interesting to see what happens to my passion for the world when I'm no longer forced to be in it. And I think that's all I can say about it.
So for the last thirteen years of my life, I think I was on one long mission trip. For example, every Wednesday last year, I would go to the city dump with a group from my school and we would help out in the daycare for kids whose parents live among the trash. A few years before that, we went to a children's hospital every week and basically evangelized and did goofy stuff to make the kids happy. I've helped to translate for different groups from the U.S. who came down to Ecuador to go on a mission trip (although the emphasis on those trips was always on something other than God... oops). I went to a school for missionary kids; we even had an Evangelism Explosion class to teach us how to talk about Jesus.
Because of all that, it's really hard for me to be in a place where a mission trip isn't waiting to happen right outside my window.
It will be interesting to see what happens to my passion for the world when I'm no longer forced to be in it. And I think that's all I can say about it.
And if I had wings, I would fly.
What makes you happy?
A good grade on a really difficult test?
Extra money for a shopping spree?
The knowledge that one more person thinks you're attractive?
We were hit in the face by the concept of global vision all week last week. We were challenged to open our minds to what's going on in the world around us, not just in our small-bubble lives. We were begged to see the big picture.
But the first step is to take our eyes off ourselves.
If the things that make you happy have to do with what's happening to only you, then I challenge you to change that. We do not live isolated, lonely lives; we are growing together, living together, finding God in new ways together. It shouldn't be solely about I ME MYSELF. It should be about US WE YOU THEY. What can we do to make someone else happier? What can we say to brighten someone else's day? How much of ourselves can we give?
So what makes you happy?
A good grade that your best friend got on a really difficult test?
Extra money to spend on someone else?
The knowledge that you made one more person feel special?
It's all about the love, people.
A good grade on a really difficult test?
Extra money for a shopping spree?
The knowledge that one more person thinks you're attractive?
We were hit in the face by the concept of global vision all week last week. We were challenged to open our minds to what's going on in the world around us, not just in our small-bubble lives. We were begged to see the big picture.
But the first step is to take our eyes off ourselves.
If the things that make you happy have to do with what's happening to only you, then I challenge you to change that. We do not live isolated, lonely lives; we are growing together, living together, finding God in new ways together. It shouldn't be solely about I ME MYSELF. It should be about US WE YOU THEY. What can we do to make someone else happier? What can we say to brighten someone else's day? How much of ourselves can we give?
So what makes you happy?
A good grade that your best friend got on a really difficult test?
Extra money to spend on someone else?
The knowledge that you made one more person feel special?
It's all about the love, people.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
i see you.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours.
The evidence of the absence of God can be seen all around us.
You see, God is love. He is love and He is light and He is encouragement and He is comfort. When those things are taken away, all we have left is hatred. Just hatred and darkness.
I've never heard about the Holocaust from the viewpoint of a Jewish survivor and so the story of the murder of thousands of Jews has never felt very personal. Hearing about it last Wednesday brought tears to my eyes though. Honestly, what was the rest of the world doing while such hatred was brewing up? We ARE our brother's keeper; we ARE meant to keep each other in check. And I think our world needs to open its eyes because grievances of similar or greater magnitude are slipping their ways past the corners of our minds.
One way, Jesus, You're the only one that I could live for.
While we're tiptoeing around the subject of racism, let me propose a new horror: culturism. That's right, it's not all about your race these days. It's about which culture you were brought up in, which culture you feel most comfortable with, and which culture you have adopted as your own. And this is a GOOD thing; I dream of a world in which 100% of the world's inhabitants have claimed a culture that doesn't match the color of their skin. But unless we (collectively) begin to embrace those cultural differences, my dream will not come true.
(You don't have to be non-white to experience racism. Ask me about it some time.)
Here am I. Send me.
I will go.
The evidence of the absence of God can be seen all around us.
You see, God is love. He is love and He is light and He is encouragement and He is comfort. When those things are taken away, all we have left is hatred. Just hatred and darkness.
I've never heard about the Holocaust from the viewpoint of a Jewish survivor and so the story of the murder of thousands of Jews has never felt very personal. Hearing about it last Wednesday brought tears to my eyes though. Honestly, what was the rest of the world doing while such hatred was brewing up? We ARE our brother's keeper; we ARE meant to keep each other in check. And I think our world needs to open its eyes because grievances of similar or greater magnitude are slipping their ways past the corners of our minds.
One way, Jesus, You're the only one that I could live for.
While we're tiptoeing around the subject of racism, let me propose a new horror: culturism. That's right, it's not all about your race these days. It's about which culture you were brought up in, which culture you feel most comfortable with, and which culture you have adopted as your own. And this is a GOOD thing; I dream of a world in which 100% of the world's inhabitants have claimed a culture that doesn't match the color of their skin. But unless we (collectively) begin to embrace those cultural differences, my dream will not come true.
(You don't have to be non-white to experience racism. Ask me about it some time.)
Here am I. Send me.
I will go.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Mirror, Mirror
Ten million years ago, I was THE awkward kid.
And by awkward, I mean the whole shabang: braces, stringy (slightly dirt-colored) hair, chubbiness, horrible sense of fashion. I was also just becoming aware of the fact that I was not, indeed, like everyone else. See, I'm the kind of person who does not do too well in social situations. Adding to the awkwardness was my pre-teenage, rapidly developing body and a group of people who publicly thought my way of walking was socially unacceptable.
Needless to say, middle school was my unhappy time.
...and so was the year or two that followed.
Honestly, I blame it on my surroundings. Once I moved to a place where most people actually didn't know my name, the puppy fat quickly fell off and I even learned a few things about how to make friends. But it wasn't until I got away from my hometown and learned how to find God in a new way, in a new location, that I really started seeing myself as God-loved, instead of God-forsaken.
It took awhile, but I finally began to look in the mirror again. And really, I had to start looking at God (and at his creation and at his beauty and at his glory) first.
Who am I to consider myself, created with love by God, a thing of ugliness?
It really isn't about loving yourself enough. It's about trusting that God knew what he was doing when he made you. That's what you have to remember when you're comparing yourself to the rest of the beautiful girl population on campus. That's what you have to push into your mind when you're wondering if that outfit could look any worse on your body. That's what you have to think about when you're looking into the mirror.
God made you special, and he loves you very much.
And by awkward, I mean the whole shabang: braces, stringy (slightly dirt-colored) hair, chubbiness, horrible sense of fashion. I was also just becoming aware of the fact that I was not, indeed, like everyone else. See, I'm the kind of person who does not do too well in social situations. Adding to the awkwardness was my pre-teenage, rapidly developing body and a group of people who publicly thought my way of walking was socially unacceptable.
Needless to say, middle school was my unhappy time.
...and so was the year or two that followed.
Honestly, I blame it on my surroundings. Once I moved to a place where most people actually didn't know my name, the puppy fat quickly fell off and I even learned a few things about how to make friends. But it wasn't until I got away from my hometown and learned how to find God in a new way, in a new location, that I really started seeing myself as God-loved, instead of God-forsaken.
It took awhile, but I finally began to look in the mirror again. And really, I had to start looking at God (and at his creation and at his beauty and at his glory) first.
Who am I to consider myself, created with love by God, a thing of ugliness?
It really isn't about loving yourself enough. It's about trusting that God knew what he was doing when he made you. That's what you have to remember when you're comparing yourself to the rest of the beautiful girl population on campus. That's what you have to push into your mind when you're wondering if that outfit could look any worse on your body. That's what you have to think about when you're looking into the mirror.
God made you special, and he loves you very much.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Sometimes I think I'm an underachiever; I don't realize the things that I really want until they either a) smack me right in the face or b) are comfortably handed over to me. Maybe this is a better argument for laziness on my part. But either way, here are at least three things that I would possibly like to accomplish during my years at APU. Also included are how my strengths will help me to achieve them.
1) Figure Out Who The Heck I Am
I mentioned this before; this is the whole reason why I came to college: to be influenced and stretched into the kind of person I am meant to be. On some days when I wake up a few minutes before my alarm clock sings to me, I feel like a mirror image of myself. I want to color in the lines that make up my heart and mind and finally be a technicolor version of me. I think that all of my thinking strengths will help me to evaluate every single possibility (maybe even prolonging the process) of who I could be. And my empathy will help me to look at others and at who they are. This will force me to see the good and bad of their characters and I can pick and choose the characteristics that I find most enviable and work them into my life.
2) Learn As Much As I Can
Aha. Another reason why I came to college. As my input strength describes, I am curious and I love learning new things (but generally only in areas I'm interested in... lame, I know). I want to fill my brain with as much information as possible about the world and about people and about writing and about the way things work. (I also want to get published. I want my thoughts to be read and spread and publicly acknowledged.)
3) Expand My Concept Of The World As A Whole
Included in this section are my desires to study abroad, to get involved in missions, and to network. I don't know what I mean by that last word, but I guess my dad says it a lot and it sounds good. Ha, just kidding. But I don't really know what I mean, except that it's something I really want to do. And guess what, my connectedness strength directly ties in with this goal. Funny how that works out.
4) Find A Husband
Ummmmmm, kidding. Actually, I just want to make strong and lasting friendships.
4 for real) Make Strong And Lasting Friendships
I've heard from too many people that their best friends are the friends they met during their college years and I want to make this true for me. I think connectedness will just help me to "connect" the people around me and to draw them together. In love. And happiness. Peace.
5) Become Tight With God
I heard a sermon once about what it takes to become "tight" with God. The speaker mentioned discipline and how important it is to keep yourself in check and to keep your relationship with God growing daily. I want to be so disciplined in my walk with God that it becomes even more natural than breathing. I want to have a better grasp on what He wants for my life. I want to use my strengths for His glory. I want His love to shine out of all areas of my life and I want people to notice the difference.
Fin.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Procrastination, Part 1: Best Things About December 11 - December 13, 2009
1. Christmas chapel. Carols and man choir and funny skits and warm holiday feelings.
2. Last American Lit class. Wooooo, no more learning about authors I already read in high school.
3. Rain, rain, rain. Even though the windshield wipers on Betty don't work too well, it made for a lovely adventure driving down to San Juan Capistrano.
4. Road trippin' with the bf. Good music courtesy of Kirk's iTunes and sour cream and onion Pringles, mint Milano cookies, and Diet Coke/Starbucks for a mid afternoon snack.
5. Glory of Christmas at the Crystal Cathedral. Real camels! And flying angels! And the cutest lambs and goats and a donkey! Oh yeah, and the acting and music and costumes were all pretty great, too.
6. Lots of time with my adopted grandparents, Ellis and Frankie. Plus great food, comfortable housing, and good conversation, all because of their generosity.
7. Sleeping in.
8. Pumpkin bagels at I Heart Bagels! These bagels are listed very very high on my Top Favorite Things list.
9. Getting things done while at the same time doing nothing. Like such as Christmas shopping and finishing up my list of To Do's for Lithuania.
10. Seeing The Road. Ok, here is what you need to do: Go read The Road by Cormac McCarthy and then go see the movie. Right now. Just do it.
11. A hilarious Sunday morning. Highlights included: accidentally on purpose missing church, getting lost somewhere around Laguna Niguel, dancing in the car to Christmas music, and eating at the Souplantation (it never gets old).
12. A brand new backpack. Her name is April.
13. Hot toddies and a Salt Creek sunset. I could literally spend every afternoon for the rest of my life watching sunsets at Salt Creek and never get tired of it. This particular afternoon, I had very handsome company, which made it extra nice.
14. "Meeting" the boyfriend's parents via video chat. And realizing he looks exactly like his mother.
15. Kirk Dahlstrom.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Eat right, huh
Numba One - Ideation
You are fascinated by ideas. What is an idea? An idea is a concept, the best explanation of the most events. You are delighted when you discover beneath the complex surface an elegantly simple concept to explain why things are the way they are. An idea is a connection. Yours is the kind of mind that is always looking for connections, and so you are intrigued when seemingly disparate phenomena can be linked by an obscure connection. An idea is a new perspective on familiar challenges. You revel in taking the world we all know and turning it around so we can view it from a strange but strangely enlightening angle. You love all these ideas because they are profound, because they are novel, because they are clarifying, because they are contrary, because they are bizarre. For all these reasons you derive a jolt of energy whenever a new idea occurs to you. Others may label you creative or original or conceptual or even smart. Perhaps you are all of these. Who can be sure? What you are sure of is that ideas are thrilling. And on most days this is enough.
I didn't really think that this strength applied to me until I did some reading and realized that it has to do with creativity and daydreaming. Most of the time, I forget that that aspect of who I am is even a strength. Maybe this test will help me to focus that attribute and use it more to my advantage.
Numba Two - Input
You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information-words, facts, books, and quotations-or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don't feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It's interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.
I have definitely seen how this strength plays out in my life. I remember when I was in maybe 7th or 8th grade and I became insanely fascinated with Queen Elizabeth I to the point of reading a 600 page non-fiction work all about her life. When I become interested in a topic, I like to know as much as I can about it. This can also be translated into my social interactions; when I am interested in getting to know a person more, I become overwhelmingly curious about their life and the way they think.
Numba Three - Empathy
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person's perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person's predicament-this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings-to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.
This was another strength that I was already well aware of (and semi-embarassed about). I've had a problem with being overly sensitive for as long as I can remember and I've always viewed it as more of a weakness than a positive attribute. I think that maybe I need to start looking at it as a God-given gift and realize that it's something that can help others.
Numba Four - Strategic
The Strategic theme enables you to sort through the clutter and find the best route. It is not a skill that can be taught. It is a distinct way of thinking, a special perspective on the world at large. This perspective allows you to see patterns where others simply see complexity. Mindful of these patterns, you play out alternative scenarios, always asking, "What if this happened? Okay, well what if this happened?" This recurring question helps you see around the next corner. There you can evaluate accurately the potential obstacles. Guided by where you see each path leading, you start to make selections. You discard the paths that lead nowhere. You discard the paths that lead straight into resistance. You discard the paths that lead into a fog of confusion. You cull and make selections until you arrive at the chosen path-your strategy. Armed with your strategy, you strike forward. This is your Strategic theme at work: "What if?" Select. Strike.
I think it's ironic that this is now my third strength that has to do with knowing more and thinking and "expanding my horizons". I am definitely one of those people who just thinks too much; "What if"s drive me crazy and generally take up wayyy too much of my time. And again, this is another attribute that I tend to view negatively.
Numba Five - Connectedness
Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life's mysteries.
When I asked my alpha leader about this one, she told me it was the hippie strength. So ha, once again, proof that I am a hippie at heart. Parents, let me buy a hippie van and get a peace sign tattoo'd on my ankle. I'm just trying to go along with my strength!
But actually, two sentences made me feel certain that this strength is something I possess: When people and the world seem fractured, broken, and isolated, you can become discouraged. For this reason, some may perceive you as too naïve or fragile. This has happened to me countless times. When the darkness of the world around me is pushed too hard into my face, I freak out and have to "center" myself before I can deal.
You are fascinated by ideas. What is an idea? An idea is a concept, the best explanation of the most events. You are delighted when you discover beneath the complex surface an elegantly simple concept to explain why things are the way they are. An idea is a connection. Yours is the kind of mind that is always looking for connections, and so you are intrigued when seemingly disparate phenomena can be linked by an obscure connection. An idea is a new perspective on familiar challenges. You revel in taking the world we all know and turning it around so we can view it from a strange but strangely enlightening angle. You love all these ideas because they are profound, because they are novel, because they are clarifying, because they are contrary, because they are bizarre. For all these reasons you derive a jolt of energy whenever a new idea occurs to you. Others may label you creative or original or conceptual or even smart. Perhaps you are all of these. Who can be sure? What you are sure of is that ideas are thrilling. And on most days this is enough.
I didn't really think that this strength applied to me until I did some reading and realized that it has to do with creativity and daydreaming. Most of the time, I forget that that aspect of who I am is even a strength. Maybe this test will help me to focus that attribute and use it more to my advantage.
Numba Two - Input
You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information-words, facts, books, and quotations-or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don't feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It's interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.
I have definitely seen how this strength plays out in my life. I remember when I was in maybe 7th or 8th grade and I became insanely fascinated with Queen Elizabeth I to the point of reading a 600 page non-fiction work all about her life. When I become interested in a topic, I like to know as much as I can about it. This can also be translated into my social interactions; when I am interested in getting to know a person more, I become overwhelmingly curious about their life and the way they think.
Numba Three - Empathy
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person's perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person's predicament-this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings-to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.
This was another strength that I was already well aware of (and semi-embarassed about). I've had a problem with being overly sensitive for as long as I can remember and I've always viewed it as more of a weakness than a positive attribute. I think that maybe I need to start looking at it as a God-given gift and realize that it's something that can help others.
Numba Four - Strategic
The Strategic theme enables you to sort through the clutter and find the best route. It is not a skill that can be taught. It is a distinct way of thinking, a special perspective on the world at large. This perspective allows you to see patterns where others simply see complexity. Mindful of these patterns, you play out alternative scenarios, always asking, "What if this happened? Okay, well what if this happened?" This recurring question helps you see around the next corner. There you can evaluate accurately the potential obstacles. Guided by where you see each path leading, you start to make selections. You discard the paths that lead nowhere. You discard the paths that lead straight into resistance. You discard the paths that lead into a fog of confusion. You cull and make selections until you arrive at the chosen path-your strategy. Armed with your strategy, you strike forward. This is your Strategic theme at work: "What if?" Select. Strike.
I think it's ironic that this is now my third strength that has to do with knowing more and thinking and "expanding my horizons". I am definitely one of those people who just thinks too much; "What if"s drive me crazy and generally take up wayyy too much of my time. And again, this is another attribute that I tend to view negatively.
Numba Five - Connectedness
Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life's mysteries.
When I asked my alpha leader about this one, she told me it was the hippie strength. So ha, once again, proof that I am a hippie at heart. Parents, let me buy a hippie van and get a peace sign tattoo'd on my ankle. I'm just trying to go along with my strength!
But actually, two sentences made me feel certain that this strength is something I possess: When people and the world seem fractured, broken, and isolated, you can become discouraged. For this reason, some may perceive you as too naïve or fragile. This has happened to me countless times. When the darkness of the world around me is pushed too hard into my face, I freak out and have to "center" myself before I can deal.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Stay beautiful
I met a homeless man yesterday. His name was Shane and his teeth were tinted yellow. He was holding a cigarette in one hand and asking any nice-looking person who passed by for money to buy food.
We grow up in a culture that trains us to be paranoid of anyone living on the streets. "Oh, he'll just use the money for drugs," we convince ourselves. "He's probably just lying anyway." I know that those were the thoughts running through my head as I walked past him with my head turned the other way.
It took me about 3 seconds to feel a nudge on my heart (the nudges I live for). And even though I was terrified and worried about what Shane the Homeless Man could possibly do to my lovely roommate and I, we still turned around, apologized, and introduced ourselves to him. He was a pretty nice guy, too. You might see him on the corner outside of the CVS just down the street.
Shane gained five dollars from me yesterday. But, as cliche as it might sound, I feel like I'm the one who benefitted more from our encounter.
I'm not entirely sure of who I am yet. That's why I came to college; in this safe and God-controlled environment, I have all the time in the world to settle on my hopes and fears. The only thing that my heart is absoultely set on right now is living my life completely and willingly for God. And every day that's becoming easier for me to do.
That's who I am right now.
We grow up in a culture that trains us to be paranoid of anyone living on the streets. "Oh, he'll just use the money for drugs," we convince ourselves. "He's probably just lying anyway." I know that those were the thoughts running through my head as I walked past him with my head turned the other way.
It took me about 3 seconds to feel a nudge on my heart (the nudges I live for). And even though I was terrified and worried about what Shane the Homeless Man could possibly do to my lovely roommate and I, we still turned around, apologized, and introduced ourselves to him. He was a pretty nice guy, too. You might see him on the corner outside of the CVS just down the street.
Shane gained five dollars from me yesterday. But, as cliche as it might sound, I feel like I'm the one who benefitted more from our encounter.
I'm not entirely sure of who I am yet. That's why I came to college; in this safe and God-controlled environment, I have all the time in the world to settle on my hopes and fears. The only thing that my heart is absoultely set on right now is living my life completely and willingly for God. And every day that's becoming easier for me to do.
That's who I am right now.
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