Everything Changes But You

"Finish Last"
Stellar Kart

People change and plans get changed and
Everything changes but you
Everybody moves around and
Everything gets pushed around but you
You always stay the same, stay the same

I want to finish last
Last in the world's eyes
No matter what I do
I will be first in your eyes

I am running in this race and
I am pressing onwards towards the finish line
You have promised me a better life
Far beyond this world, far beyond this place and time


This song has been on my mind lately. The first time I heard this song, I was 16 and I thought I had my whole life planned out. Things changed, as they always do, and a split second later, everything I had planned for had fallen apart.

The problem is that even though we try to pretend like we know what's going on in our lives, we don't. And when everything we thought we had taken care of spins completely out of control, we have to realize that there's only one person who never changes and it's his plans (and his opinion of who we are) that really matters. It's cliché, but so true and so hard to learn.

I am doing a different thing right now than I thought I would be doing a year ago, and that's ok. I'm human and that's just how human plans work. What I need to be thinking about is whether I'm doing what God has planned for me. And as long as I'm doing that, who cares if I'm not exactly where I thought I would be a year ago?

Letter to Myself, written March 25, 2007

Dear FutureMe,

I hope you got over your ridiculousness that mostly had to do with boys. You had a lot of problems a year ago, and it got pretty annoying.

Also, you better have figured out what you want to do with your life by now. Time passes by pretty quickly, and you're 19 already. So figure it out, dude.

If you're dating RPC, have a good reason. Please? I don't want to go through all those issues again.

If you weigh more than 130 pounds, start running.

If you've lost touch with [the hobbit], call him.

If you haven't talked to your parents in a while, call them too.

I hope you're still writing at every chance you get. And I hope you haven't changed too much. 18-year-old Rheanna is pretty rad. You don't need to change.

Jesus loves you. I hope you haven't forgotten that.



Peace out, and please take a shower some time soon.




Love,

Me.

Lifechanging/Euphoric

i fall in love with you easily,

quickly,

without questions,

as if this is what i always wanted,

even though i gave up on this

so long ago. i begin to dream about

your fingertips on my chin, tilting

my face

closer to yours and it's like

these dreams never ended.

it only takes a spark, and i'm

lifechanging

again.

while of course you, in your perfect euphoria, are

still stuck.